Last week, B was sounding a little congested. In the States, I would call the pediatrician just to be sure. It usually turned into the sniffles within a few days, but given the option we don't take chances with this boy's breathing.
As I rocked him Monday night I poured out my heart and frustrations to the Father. He made my son. He called us here. I'm not a physician. The rocking chair creaked and groaned as if to echo it's own questions. My mind wanders to the nature of our asking and his answering - a topic that's long left me puzzled.
My son has a heart condition. We live in Asia. Why did I not become a physician? In the end, I didn't specifically ask him to send one our way but I did specifically ask for an answer - an answer to this dilemna of how I serve my two callings well, how I live and work in this country without sacrificing that which has been entrusted to my care. Little did I know that as I laid B in his bed that night, my answer was already on an airplane heading our way.
The very next day an answer arrived, quite literally, on our doorstep in the form of a pediatrician from Texas. All of Asia....this massive country...our sprawling city of 8 million people and she and her family started class at the same time that S started class at the same local language school just blocks from our apartment.
Later in the week we helped them check out an apartment in our complex. We have been so blessed and encouraged by our time with them!
Sure enough B's slightly labored breathing turned into a little cold. (Please be thinking of him as he's had a little bit of rough week health-wise.) We has a busy but encouraging weekend. We made some new friends and caught up with some old ones. All in all, our hearts are well.
What could possibly be more nourishing or healing than really seeing what he has provided? And that's the most fabulous part of the asking and answering dilemma. I still don't understand it but I've concluded that the beauty lies in our coming to gripes with our desperate need for him. Not that we manipulate him in any way or change that which he has previously deemed best. But that in acknowledging our dependence upon Him, we open the eyes of our hearts to see that which he has already provided.